Reflections: Meeting of the Masters 4
Tao Garden, Doi Saket, Chiang Mai, Thailand
Tao Garden, Doi Saket, Chiang Mai, Thailand
This place is absolutely Magical. On one of my first mornings this visit (my 4th), I snapped a photo of a red sunrise. While the photo didn’t capture the perfect circle of the red sun as it rose beyond the trees, it did capture a large red orb. As soon as I looked at the photo, I felt strongly that this was a multi-dimensional presence. One of the many spirit-energy-beings that I have always felt reside on these beautiful sacred grounds. I acknowledged it, and thanked it for making itself known to me. In hindsight, I ‘should’ (no shoulds) have known this was a harbinger of things to come.
This particular seminar - the 4th Meeting of the Masters Retreat featuring Taoist Grandmaster Mantak Chia and my beautiful hubby Tantra Master Charles Muir - was the most exquisite dance of sweet, beautiful connections, expansive self-expression, rejuvenation and renewal, and raw and ragged emotional release, resistance, deep karmic triggers, and moments of vulnerable truth.
I had nearly forgotten that I had stood in the redwood forest days before we left for Thailand, and asked Spirit, out loud, for the next level of conscious partnership. This is my current understanding of the Human-Divine relationship: Conscious Co-Creative Partnership.... when chosen through Free Will. In those moments I verbally gave permission to the Universe to take me through any process necessary to neutralize any karma that might stand in the way of this relationship.
The Full Moon in Cancer ( my Sun sign), penumbral eclipse, and many celestial aspects criss crossing Charles’ chart brought about a potent, precisely timed response to my invitation. Spirit used Charles and this seminar to give me the opportunity to release a massive wave of energy during an unexpected, impromptu (non-sexual, partially clothed) pressure point demo.
This is where the Resistance came in. 2014 was the first Meeting of the Masters. Charles did a Sacred Spot demonstration on me that rattled the student body. I experienced a huge release of emotion, accompanied by a sound that echoed through the rafters of the gym-like building we were in. The juxtaposition of the conservative international group (one woman from Japan had never even seen naked bodies), our age difference and unmarried status at the time, the rawness of my release, and the pieces of my story that we shared, created the perfect storm. It took a few days to stabilize and re-gain people’s love, trust, and sense of safety towards Charles and his work.
Needless to say.... we did. I have mentioned that this is the 4th time Charles and Master Chia have created this event. People went on to have openings and breakthroughs. Others subsequently traveled to the U.S. to continue their study with Charles in his CTE (Certified Tantric Educator) programs.
As for me, to this day I believe that Sacred Spot demo in 2014.... changed me. It was as though a segment of the structure of one of my most practiced self-defeating stories .... left me forever. Not all of it. But I felt differently from that day forward. Lighter. Braver.
At that time, I also recognized more clearly that when I experienced Emotional Energy like this - larger than life, coursing, irrepressible - that it was as much for the Collective as it was for me individually. I had long felt I was carrying a deep sadness, which was not solely my own. Something ancestral and shared.
The release, the triggers, the process of coming back to Center. It was not only mine. For better or worse - unfiltered and unscripted - this was the ‘Anti-Bypass.’ This was the energy that there was no way around. Only through.
Nevertheless, I had hoped to share a gentler, more easily digestible side of myself and Charles’ work this time. My conscious mind - having forgotten my bold request to Spirit - wanted to wade in shallow waters, paint a pretty picture, and offer a measured and *safe* introduction to Charles, Source Tantra and Sacred Spot Massage.
It seems the Universe knew better: How does one ‘gently’ introduce Lightning?
So, here I am again. Having walked through this ‘Karma’ (what a loaded and misunderstood word) of exposing myself to a group in such an explosive and potentially polarizing way while facing my most secret emotional experiences.... and somehow.... again.... I know it was just what I needed. And somehow what We needed.
Firstly- there is nothing that provides a greater opportunity for accelerated discharge of latent spiritual/emotional energy blockages like being on stage in front of a group of 150+ people when *shit* comes up. You’d better believe I wanted to run and hide. I had major resistance to being seen in such vulnerability... yet another of my patterns that keeps my true Human Contribution hidden.
Secondly - I feel that, had I been mentally prepared for the demo and potential emotional release, this energy (true, raw emotions) may have fled from view.
The potent wave of (ultimately) cleansing emotion that coursed through me, through tears and sounds, would have been stopped in its tracks. Stuck.
Finally, in this age of surfacing Feminine Rage, as the imbalances between the two dominant genders are continually cleansed and brought to light, this group of Cosmopolitan Seekers got to see, both, an authentic expression and release of gender-based tension, plus an expert example of Grounding in Action, as my (equally surprised by what came to the surface) husband stayed in his Powerful Open Heart as I expressed my anger at him in front of a room of people AND cameras. (!!!)
He stood there and took it like a freaking Champ! How many women have wished they could discharge anger at a man, and have him STAY PUT, take it, and return her anger with Love?
Wouldn’t it be amazing, and potentially healing for the Collective if more men became willing and capable of holding this powerful space during a time in which movements like #MeToo have both Light and Shadow, and Feminine Rage needs a safe place to be discharged, while the Woman is held in Love?
And what a gift if the two parties - Masculine and Feminine - could find Harmony again after such an exchange. If the release was real, the Woman could let go, and appreciate her partner for his part in the experience.
We didn’t plan it. But somehow .... I believe we were all asking for it.
It’s funny. People come to ‘tantra’ with preconceptions. Some want it to be only about sexual ecstasy. They want to learn about multiple orgasms, pleasure and sensuality. They don’t want emotions, or ‘healing’ (which often accompanies ‘Awakening’). Others seem to be expecting a path of strict homage to ancient lineages, esoteric practices, obscure Sanskrit chants, and rejection/transcendence of the modern world, and are appalled by their perception of the ‘sexual’ (ie excluding nothing) focus of what they term ‘neo-tantra.’
[News Flash: Any True Tantra is NEO, because Tantra is always about God-Human communion RIGHT NOW.]
Both camps often cringe when the see what a perfectly timed bolt of Spiritual Lightning sent through the body can do for the psyche. Anyone who has followed Charles work from his Beginner’s Weekend Seminar through his Advanced CTE Training’s knows IN THEIR BODY that Source Tantra somehow encompasses ALL of these: Love, Pleasure, Sensuality, Connection, Nurturing, Healing, Awakening, Yoga, Practice.... and ultimately.... a unique journey of Embodied Expansion and Evolution.
It’s very difficult to describe in a brochure.
We (Charles, his son Orion and I) re-watched the footage of our demo on our last night in Bangkok. The absolute real-ness of the dynamic between us, and the rawness of my release, blend powerfully with the clear educational instructions of what was a completely physically non-invasive, non-sexual, yet obviously very potent modality of therapeutic touch.
It’s difficult to argue with the value of the demonstration... though it would have been great to show the integration that would have happened in a longer, more private session. You can see on my face both my resistance, and the fact that the process wasn’t quite complete. Had we been alone, in our bed, rather than on stage in front of a large group of students, Charles would have nurtured me, run his amazing brain mudras, and helped me to integrate the energy.
... but other factors, which I have shared very little of on Facebook, made it an absolute miracle that he was able to stay as present, grounded and effective as he was. My husband was in pain, having travelled across the globe with a still open surgical wound in order to follow through with his commitment to this group of seminar attendees.
This was the 3rd 11 day seminar he taught in a painful state of recovery and healing. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone ... and yet, he accomplished it.
Truly, I hope those who came to understand his circumstances can call forth their most sincere compassion for this man. He would teach until he drops. And he nearly did.
Ultimately, my only regrets are
1) That I balked in my resistance. I told myself that my emotional expression was too much for people, and the story I was telling myself is written all over my face during the demo. I know what I’m going for in this lifetime.... and it’s not about simply painting pretty pictures.
2) On the last day of the seminar, my husband asked me to think of a final song to sing. I was so relieved to be close to the finish line of this shared challenge, that I shied away from the *perfect* opportunity to share one of my most poignant original songs: “Pivot.” This song is all about recognizing that our power to creatively define ourselves and contextualize our experiences lies only within. It is about claiming that power in a pivotal moment of choice. Some have told me it is a masterpiece.
For the record: someone has been working on a professional musical track to this song, which so far I have only sung a capella. I was slightly disappointed that it didn’t arrive on time to share in its new glory. Again, a bit of remaining resistance as I refrained from sharing it in its naked form.
I will visit that pivotal moment and virtually/mentally/emotionally share this song with the group, and perhaps one day, all those who are ready to claim their true power.... which lies not in overt action, as many believe, but in our willingness to harness our mind to tell empowering stories ESPECIALLY when we aren’t feeling empowered in the moment... will get to hear and imbibe this channeled piece of Lyrical Re-Alignment.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your Compassion. Thank you for riding the waves.
Here’s to the Warriors of the Light who dare play with Lightning, knowing our Humanity is one and the same with that powerful Source!
Sincerely,
Christy Rose Muir